Archive for December, 2007

Thanks a lot, Don

sandcrabs December 23rd, 2007

Recently, disgraced radio show host Don Imus returned to the airwaves.  Now when I say “disgraced,” it was his words and actions that caused him to fall out of favor.  Well, his appearance really is a disgrace.  I mean, wasn’t Leatherface from all those chainsaw movies based off Imus’ facial features?  C’mon, the guy has seen way too much sun in his youth.

For those who have been under a rock for the last six months, Don Imus made some racially sensitive remarks toward the Rutgers women’s basketball team.  I won’t get into that part of it at this time.  Maybe in a later column I’ll delve into the subject as I’ve got some definite opinions on that whole issue.  No.  My main beef is not with his ignorance.  God knows my ignorance has no limitations.  What I take exception to is how this old, cranky, wrinkly fart single handedly made women’s basketball relevant.  Not once, but twice!  Obviously the first was when he originally made those comments, but by coming back he reignited some interest in the so-called sport.

Please don’t mistake my disinterest in women’s basketball for sexism.  There are plenty of other things about me that point to that.  Infact, I gave women’s basketball a chance.  When Portland had a women’s professional team I rooted for them.  I kept track of their scores and standings.  The difficulty comes from how inferior a product it is to its male counterpart.  Oh, I can hear the screams of sexism now.  “Women’s basketball creates more opportunities for girls to be involved in athletics and can provide a chance for a continuing education.”  Fine, leave it at that.  Don’t make it out to be something that it’s not.

Here’s where I will venture into defending my caveman mentality when it comes to women’s sports.  The U.S. women’s soccer team’s success has provided so much more opportunities for girls than basketball has.  Women’s soccer is far more entertaining than women’s basketball…even though it’s still soccer.  Women’s softball has some of the best athletes playing. 

 There are not a lot of men who can compete with those women.  I’m not down on all women’s sports, just basketball.  It’s almost a travesty to the game.  Don Imus gave the “sport” some legitimacy that wasn’t earned by the competition.  Until the players can dunk on most plays, or be more fluid, women’s basketball will be the red-headed stepchild of the much better men’s game.

So, thank you Don for the double-dose of ignorance.  I tell you what.  Crawl into a hole and stay there.  Real sports fans, and your skin, will appreciate it.

 

Belotti Get The Hell Out!!!

sandcrabs December 13th, 2007

Hey Michigan!  Do you want a coach who can take your team to the brink of greatness only to act like a small timer from a high school and bring you down with a thud?  Oh yeah, you just got rid of one.  Listen up UCLA.  For a cheap price you can have a coach who makes shaky decisions that cost your team not only an important game but also most of the season.  Well, you just got rid of that guy too.  Maybe an ad on Craigslist will do the trick. 

Twice in my lifetime, the Ducks have had that magical season where the phrase “National Championship” is uttered.  Their latest foray into this seemingly enchanted land has ended in near disaster.  Not all is lost.  Oregon is headed to a bowl game with a little momentum thanks to a gutsy 4th string quarterback who has had to grow up rather quickly.  Mind you the location is past BFE (El Paso?  C’mon!) and the opponent is a team that looks more and more like a pretender than a contender as uttered earlier this season. 

Oregon should be at least playing in the Holiday Bowl.  Instead due to a couple of crappy decisions from the sideline the Ducks’ players have to endure everything the west Texas town of El Paso has to offer (which is….um…..late night jaunts over the border to watch the donkey shows?).  The Beavers are jubilant that they don’t have to serve a repeat sentence in this boring outpost (or is that outhouse) of the southwest.  Bellotti stated that the rushed field goal was a result of miscommunication on the sideline.  I can see that.  After all, how difficult is it to tell somebody “Okay.  After we lose a couple of yards making a stupid attempt to move the ball a few feet to the middle be sure to take the snap and spike it.” 

Meanwhile be sure to turn to your special teams coordinator and say “Don’t send in your longsnapper and the kicker.  We’re going to spike the next play.”  I can see how that could be miscommunicated.  After all, it’s not his job to….oh wait.  It is, isn’t it?  Mikey must have been thinking about the sunny San Diego weather  (come to think of it, I hear the donkey shows just south of SD are just as interesting).  To make matters worse our coach decides that in double OT to run a play that hasn’t worked since, oh I don’t know the Reagan administration, on a 4th and 1.  Hell, even my best friend’s girlfriend knew it was coming (no offense, Ash).  Stuffed.  Brick wall of orange and black.  Bye-bye San Diego.  Hello BFE. 

With all respect to Henny Youngman, “Take my coach, please.”  As long as Mike Bellotti remains head coach, Oregon will always be an afterthought.  A “Nice try, see you next year” kind of program.  Pat Kilkenny, aka Daddy Warbucks, can provide coach an out to save face.  Allow him to “spend more time with family” and go out and find that big time coach who will take Oregon where every now and then the loyal fans fantasize about.  Don’t let the national perception that Oregon is full of lumberjacks and hicks who scrape their dinner off the road to continue. 

Mike Bellotti has done a marvelous job of brining Oregon Ducks football out of the depths of dispair but has outlived his usefulness.  National Championship chases bring in the blue-chip recruits but more importantly brings in money….lots of it.  Bring a product that we can be proud of and also be arrogant of. 

Ohio State vs. LSU?  Please.